Something to think about

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T3bht7S-3vI&feature=fvst

"My child arrived just the other day
Came to the world in the usual way
But there were planes to catch and bills to pay
He learned to walk while I was away
He was talkin' 'fore I knew it
And as he grew he said,
"I'm gonna be like you, Dad,
You know I'm gonna be like you."

Example #2

Twenty-seven years in the business and she still gets upset with herself to the point of tears when her voice fails her. That's the sign of a true artist, people. I love the look on her face when she actually does hit that note, almost like she's surprised that it came out..and the "come on!!" she mouths after going down is amazing. It must have hurt like hell hitting those notes. She's still so humble as well...when the entire studio stands up applauding her after the clip is shown it's almost like she wants the, to stop because she doesn't feel like she deserves it. Love. <3

To answer your questions...

I know I probably have zero readers and the few I do have will most likely not watch this. Either way...I had to post this. I get the question a lot why I'm a Céline fan and although there's a million and one things I could say...this clip sums it up quite well. A contestant on France's "Star Académie" struggles with her microphone (and her singing) and Céline comes to the rescue. Mon dieu, que j'adore cette femme. <3

Christmas gifts for your boys and girls, anyone?

"But first you must learn how to smile as you kill"

Twisted world

No one can have missed the vampire boom that's completely exploded lately, mostly due to the movie "Twilight". And, of course, marketers being what they are, they see a chance to profit. The latest? A vampire dildo.

A company by the name of Tantus now proudly (?) displays their newsest addition to their sex toy collection: "The Vamp". Made to resemble that vampire-like, extra pale flesh, it can be put in the freezer "for that authentic feel". (Because as everyone knows -of course- vampires are dead, hence have no body heat).

Sounds...lovely.

Just a quick post

Dad just rung from Sicily (he asked me to say hi to everyone :) and we talked a bit. Afterwards, it hit me how happy I am that I know my parents as people, not just as "mum" and "dad". That I know their likes and dislikes, their favourite food, their favourite flowers or their favourite pieces of music. Their values and opinions...as individuals. Love. <3.

This is serious

:p

I don't know how to help you. I feel like I've tried everything, yet like I haven't done enough. No matter what happens; I will always feel like I didn't do enough. I wish happiness for you so much. Looking at how rough life has been to you makes me want to cry, and it's so unfair.

You weren't always like this. Once you were a little girl with pig tails and a Sunday skirt, with school and favourite dresses and a daddy that hadn't yet been taken away from you. You had bare feet that ran on summer grass and legs that jumped the freshly cut hay. You were a teenager with your first crush, a girl with music in her ears and dancing in her legs and someone who could laugh. I can't remember the last time I heard you laugh. You had hopes and dreams and plans...but something went wrong. Somewhere along the line things started slipping, and it turned you into this. It happened gradually and it took a lifetime, but your spirit is crushed. That little girl grew up, the teenager died and the grown woman that now are...crumbled. Since I was little I've wanted so much for you to be happy, and I don't know what to do.

Your life just carried on and things just kept happening to you, and if I close my eyes I can see you falling, getting back up, but eventually being too tired to, and that's where you are now. I know life is a dark place sometimes but there's beauty still left. There's sunny summer afternoons on the balcony, Céline's voice, family hugs. There's daisies and lilies and cornflowers...there's Robin. More than anything...there's us. We need you, I need you, even though I'm an adult now. You can't just leave me, it's not fair. Even if you might not leave abruptly, you are fading away and it is killing me standing by to watch. I know you are too wrapped up in everything to be able to think clearly but I wish I could just help you up. I've got you by the hand and I'm pulling and pulling but you have to climb, you have to help me out. I can't save you. It hasn't always been like this, but the way things are now is starting to taint everything else and it's becoming who you are. And it hurts.

The person that you are is gone. She's being held prisoner by this monster of depression and it won't let go. Before life took its toll you were a person, an individual, with favourite songs and interests...you were you. It is true you were someone's sister, daughter, wife or friend, but you were also you; a million different opinions and likes and dislikes that made up who you truly were before life beat you down. I can't find that person anymore and I don't think she's coming back. And I miss her. Sometimes I can see glimpses of her but they never last. I know you don't like yourself very much but to me...you are perfection. We are all flawed, but we can still be perfect through it.

I've got so much from you: my compassion, the way music gives me goosebumps, the way I'm a worrier that wants to care for others...I wish I could just re-wind your life and change it because you deserve happiness so much. It's too late and I can't save you and I accept that..but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. I love you more than you will ever understand and I'm sorry I couldn't make things right. x

Quote of the day

"Anna Wintour, the editor of Vogue, was on the Late Show with David Letterman last night. Who cares? Someone probably cares. I don't care. She's the editor of a magazine. About clothes. What? It's 2009, you guys.

'But Gabe, Anna Wintour has influenced millions of young women.' That's too bad! Young women, I am sorry that happened! We should work on getting you some better influences.

'But Gabe, fashion is a 300 billion dollar global industry.' Gross. The only thing grosser than the moral bankruptcy of the fashion industry is the morally bankrupt fashion industry's self-justifications."

You decide if it's worth it.

The crowd...it's a love story. *sighs'

If it's not broken, don't fix it.

I haven't been writing much on here lately, so it's about time. I guess I haven't felt like I've had anthyting to say; or I haven't had the energy to discuss anything. You do know, though, that there are things that always interest me -commericals and their psychological effect, for example. I came across this one today...hey, why make it harder than it has to be? Choco. Party. Good good. That's all you need, right? (Besides, she's got boobs).

Goosebump moment #2

Songs of summer

The sun is shining, we have our first proper summer day in weeks...and all I need is this song.

I don't think it's possible for any of us outside the Latin world to udnerstand how completely HUGE this song is. It is also, to this day, the one song that has gained him the most attention in the non Spanish speaking parts of the world. It starts at 0:35.

Pole Dancing

You find a lot of different things when you search for "Marilyn Manson" on YouTube nowadays; not all of which are good but you never know what you might find. He seems to be popular in strip clubs, but that's hardly surprising to anyone. I must admit I was quite impressed by this; I don't know how she does it! Great choice of song, too. Watch out for a surprise at 2:34. :p (Song: "Tourniquet" by Marilyn Manson...the sound is a bit bad but it works).

As some of you know, I have a fascination for - or maybe interest in is a better word- Nazi Germany. It's a time period that is so interesting in so many different ways psychologically speaking: how the timing for a dominant leader was so perfect, how Hitler could adorn the masses the way he did, how people could justify the cruelties that were going on, how the "us against them" mentality was so prominent and how we, as human beings, work in a group, what people did to others in order to survive...it's so fascinating to me. I came across this site today:

http://www.usmbooks.com/

...and they have so many great things. I love the uniforms, although I could never afford buying one and it would be pointless even if I could afford it as I'd have nowhere to keep or display it. But the books and pamphlets are fantastic too...if I could choose one thing, this would be it:







While we're speaking of the third reich, it was sugegsted this week that Swedish author and cultural treasure Selma Lagerlöf was pro racial biology. Interesting.

No comment needed.

The magic of photo shop...

Aparently, The Sun decided that one black guy on the cover was enough.

Goosebumps....

...is an interesting thing, when you think about it. If you look it up, it is described as "the bumps on a person's skin at the base of body hairs which may involuntarily develop when a person is cold or experiences strong emotions such as fear or awe". That is really all it says; the biological part of it. Still, it's really interesting to me how on thing (a peice of msuic, for example) can give one person goosebumps with pelasure and leave another one totally unaffected -or why, if two people enjoy it equally, only one of them will experience the goosebumps.

Someone asked me once WHY I get them. And...I was completely stumped. How do you explaina thing like that? I get...moved, I suppose. The person asking had never experienced them from an emotional point of view and that sounded completely horrible to me! Because when I get goosebumps, that means I'm not just liking something, I am feeling it. I get them from things that at first glance diverse from each other greatly: I got them at the Take That show the other year where they performed "Give Good Feeling" and they were stood with spotlights outlining only their silhouettes and that heavy "boom!!" sound made the chair I was sitting in vibrate. I got them the first time I heard Céline hold that long, soft note in "My Precious One". I get them everytime I'm at a concert at that very moment the lights go down and the crowd makes that roar that overpowers everything else and almost physically throws you back. I got them when I saw Manson on his knees clinging to Twiggy's shirt sleeve so hard his knuckles were whitening as he sang the line "Let me show you where it hurts" during "Pretty As A Swastika". I got them when I watched Swedish hip hip crew Bounce do a flash mob dance routine in honour of Michael Jackson, I get them when a concert crowd sings so loud they overpower the artist on stage...

There's just no explaining "why". All I know is that I feel so very fortunate to be able to feel things strongly enough to get them. So from now on, every now and then, I will be posting little "goosebump moments", clips of something that makes me shiver.

Starting with the best vocal improvisation ever made: (There are so many things in this clip that do it for me...the amazing sounds she makes, oviously, those sounds that no one else in the entire world can create. The way she's just in her own world and the way she just opens her mouth and lets those sounds just come out like beautiful birds that fly in whichever direction they want. But also the empty theatre, the single spotlight, her shadow on the stage floor, the ARTISTRY...it's lovely).


Goosebump moment #1:

Confessions of a lonely Atheist

I have a feeling this will be quite a long post so I'm preparing myself for it not being read in its entirety by anyone. But that's okay. I just need to get my thoughts out.

Although I've recently felt incredibly creatively stifled (I've been unable to draw, write or photograph lately, for some reason), that doesn't mean that I'm not thinking about things. I'm always thinking about things, which makes it really frustrating when I can't get it out of me cretaively and it gets stuck in my head. The only thing I feel capable o doing today is writing, hence what will be this long post. (See; I'm rambling already).

Religion. Where do I start on the subject of religion? I recently came over someone on YouiTube who calls himself "The amazing atheist" (love the sarcasm) on YouTube and one of his clips addressed the subject of morality. He said something in it that perfectly captures the essence of why I believe religion exists:

"When you say "let's have a rule against killing" because then you have a less chance of getting killed, that means that everyone who has the desire to kill, for whatever reason (fun, profit, vengeance, whatever), society is basically asking those people to obstain from those behaviours for the good of society. The lady in front of you at the postal office who wants to pay for one stamp with her credit card; you do want to bash her in the head repeatedly. You might not do it, even if you could, but you still kinda want to. Everyone has little violent urges here and there. And as a society where we're less compelled to regulate those urges, we become blood thirsty monsters. Fine. And then of course there's theft, because of course there ARE things we want to steal. We don't follow that commandment that says "thou shalt not envy thy neighbour's goods and his ass and his wife"; we want all of that, we WANT his goods, we want his ox, we want his wife; give those things to us. If we didn't have a desire to kill and to steal there wouldn't have to be rules against killing and stealing.

My point is that all of these things; anger, sexuality, envy, violence, whatever, are in human nature. They are. While religion tries to supress these urges in order to control the masses, other beliefs (such as satanism, for example) tells us to embrace them. I'm not a Satanist, although there are several core points in it that I believe in, but looking at organized religion it feels so obviously and completely doomed to fail to try and take these things out of a human. They're there for a reason. We're not all just good and well-meaning and meek; it would be unnatural. It's a natural reaction to, if someone treats us badly, want to retaliate. It's part of our survuval instinct. To call that pert of us as individuals morally despicable and wrong, and to try to get us to go against them with the argument that if we don't we'll be eternally doomed...talk about grabbing people by the balls! It's not surprising it keeps people in check. Because let's face it: if you have never wanted to hurt someone just because they hurt you (be that physically or otherwise), if you have never wanted what someone else has, if you have never wished for someone else to be worse off than you, if you have never felt a need to quench a hunger for something (sex, violence, destruction)...you are not human. These urges are as natural as the urges to eat, sleep and reproduce. They're so basic that they cannot (and should not) be taken out of us, and any attempts in doing so will, without exception, fail.


(To watch the full "What is morality?" clip from The Amazing Atheist, click below).

Speaking of absolutely nothing...

I came across this shot by mistake today and I just have to say how nice it is to see she's getting off the drugs and looking so healthy! Don't feel quite as bad about being told I look like her now.

"Whatever doesn't kill you is gonna leave a scar"

Going back a little bit to my last post regarding self harm...it's not just a teenage thing, it's not just female, and it's not just emo. Just to clarify.

"My lowest point was Christmas Day 2008, because I didn't speak to my family. My walls were covered in scrawlings of the lyrics and cocaine bags nailed to the wall. And I did have an experience where I was struggling to deal with being alone and being forsaken and being betrayed by putting your trust in one person; and making the mistake of that being the wrong person. And that's a mistake that everyone can relate to. I made the mistake of trying to, desperately, grasp on and save that and own it. And every time I called her that day -- I called 158 times -- I took a razor blade and I cut myself on my face or on my hands.

I look back and it was a really stupid thing to do. I wanted to show her the pain she put me through. It was like, 'I want you to physically see what you've done.'"

~Marilyn Manson~

Speaking of gender roles....

...notice the difference anyone? I know I go on about it sometimes but this says more than a thousand words ever could. For anyone who still thinks Barbie isn't so bad, they should keep in mind that many of the speaking dolls first came with recorded lines such as "I love shopping!" and "maths is hard". We should be fucking ashamed of ourselves for doing this to our children.

"Fashion"

Many posts today...seems I have a lot of different things on my mind.

I generally hate the word "fashion"; when I hear someone go "Ooohh, I looove fashion!" I want to punch them in the face. I don't love fashion, I love clothes. Big difference. Fashion makes everyone look the same and tries to get peopel to consume out of their fear of being different. That's why it's such a breath of fresh air to -very rarely, but still- see someone really expressing themselves through what they wear. Like Lady GaGa, for example. At first I wasn't very impressed with her; thinking she was just another pop singer without much to offer. After reading up a bit, though, I realized the's more than that -she's an artist.

Her "career" in pop is an image, a show...satire. And I love that. Her point is that anyone can be famous today so why not just have fun while you do it. True, that's hardly a new way of thinking, and it could be argued that she's purposely marketed as an antithetis of today's pop world by money hungry record companies but nonetheless I love seeing someone who doesn't look like a clone or have gone out of their way to look like whatever is considered "trendy" at the moment. Just the fact that she was born and raised in a wealthy family but ran away so she could be a go-go dancer and support herself is in itself...lovely. :p

It's refreshing with someone who so blatantly mocks pop culture without people even realizing it. She recently said that she is "inspired by her favorite book 'Letters to a Young Poet', the moonlight, sex and pornography and slasher films." That's basically all it takes to make me surrender to her. Love it.

Instruction manual for life

Worth a watch.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kAIpRRZvnJg

(For some reason, the embedding didn't work. Sorry 'bout that.)

Saving our young

So, aparently Lithuania passed a new law this past week to protect the youths of their nation from what is deemed "immoral and violent behaviour". This ban includes images of heterosexual intercourse, death and severe injury as well as promoting (or speeking well of) the paranormal, hypnosis, foul language, bad eating habits...and homosexuality. For fuck's sake, Lithuania. Not only do they seem to totally orgasm from the use of censorhip at its toughest, but aparently, everything that stays within the norm as well. I know I've said it a million times before in the past but it comletely baffles me how people can be so ignorant and close-minded. Seriously.

A word of advice...

Girls, don't get breast implants. They linger.

Quote of the day

"If I could teach my (future) kids one thing, it would be to teach themselves. If you have a thirst for knowledge you're going to learn more than you ever will in school. People try to teach you things, to memorize things that you may not ever need in life. It's not as good as when you get excited about an idea and you make that your thirst for knowledge, not theirs".

A tribute to the King Of Pop

My fourth post today, but I just had to. This gave me SUCH goosebumps! The music still lives. <3

Marina Abramovic

...is a Serbian performance artist whom I absolutely love. Her most famous work is "Rhythm 0". It says so much about human nature and how we all really do have a good AND an evil side in us:

"To test the limits of the relationship between performer and audience, Abramović developed one of her most challenging (and best-known) performances. She assigned a passive role to herself, with the public being the force which would act on her.

Abramović had placed upon a table 72 objects that people were allowed to use (a sign informed them) in any way that they chose. Some of these were objects that could give pleasure, while others could be wielded to inflict pain, or to harm her. Among them were scissors, a knife, a whip, and, most notoriously, a gun and a single bullet. For six hours the artist allowed the audience members to manipulate her body and actions.

Initially, members of the audience reacted with caution and modesty, but as time passed (and the artist remained impassive) several people began to act quite aggressively. As Abramović described it later:

“The experience I learned was that…if you leave decision to the public, you can be killed.” ... “I felt really violated: they cut my clothes, stuck rose thorns in my stomach, one person aimed the gun at my head, and another took it away. It created an aggressive atmosphere. After exactly 6 hours, as planned, I stood up and started walking toward the public. Everyone ran away, escaping an actual confrontation"


I love it.

"A free democracy usually deserves its leaders."

~Ihsahn, Emperor~

You won't feel so alone...

I love discovering new voices. Never mind that he sold his soul on American Idol. Voici David Cook. This is the kind of soft rock I listen a lot to when I think or draw. When he goes "...and you don't know how bad it feels" I get goosebumps all over. Lovely. =)

I have a new favourite artist...

..and her name is C.L Martin. I can't remember the last time I was this excited about someone's art work; apart from Manson's. She's spectacular and I'm in complete awe of what she does. This shows just why I don't ever want to call myself an artist. THIS is art. Compared to this, I'm an amateur at best. Her work is disturbing but I love it, the sculptures in particular are fantastic. Wow...just wow.

Quote of the day

"An anti-something movement displays a purely negative attitude. It has no chance whatever to succeed. It’s passionate diatribes virtually advertise the program they attack. People must fight for something that they want to achieve, not simply reject an evil, however bad it may be."

~Ludwig Von Mises~

Overrated "entertainment"

Friends. What a fucking shit show it is. Seriously. Just look at their stupid faces. Hearing people praise it like it's the best production on earth makes me want to tear my hair out. Once and for all: it is NOT good, it is NOT funny and it's anything but well written! It's a banal piece of crap that dumbs the world down. Someone actually told me today, after going "they're so funny!" that she wishes she could live like them. Jesus.Christ. If you actually look at the dialogue in written form and ignore the canned laughter machine telling you when they funny part is coming so you know when to laugh, it's even more evident how badly written it is:

Monica: You don't like the game, because you suck at it.
Chandler: I don't suck at it. It sucks. And you suck.

Joey Tribbiani: [after smelling potpourri] Well, this is like summer in a bowl!


Monica: Rach, it's the Visa card people.
Rachel: Oh, God, ask them what they want.
Monica: [on the phone] Could you please tell me what this is in reference to? Yes, hold on.
[to Rachel]
Monica: Um, they say there's been some unusual activity on your account.
Rachel: But I haven't used my card in weeks.
Monica: That is the unusual activity.


Rachel: Hey, you guys wanna go see a movie?
Ross: Yeah, sure.
Rachel: How about you, Phoebe?
Phoebe: No, thanks, I've already seen one.

For the love of God.

Some last words on the matter...

I will try to make this my last post on the subject of the media frenzy surrounding the death of Michael Jackson, so bare with me if this ends up a little long.

On a personal level, is till can't believe his gone. I was a fan when I was ten, and even though I was too young to understand the meaning of some of the songs, it didn't matter. I didn't know Billie Jean was about a mentally ill woman claiming him as the father of her child, I didn't know "Dirty Diana" was about cheating on the person you love and I didn't know "Beat It" was an anti violence statement. But it didn't matter. It didn't matter because I felt the music and whatever Michael had wanted to say through that specific song, he still managed to communicate simply through the mood of the music and the melody. That's why even as a ten eyar-old...I got it. I miss him incredibly and I've always, always felt for him. I always will do.

Putting my personal emotions on the matter aside, it's really interesting to just take a step back and observe the tornado whirling its way through the world right now. 12 people have already killed themselves since finding out about his death, and I'm pretty sure it will be reflected on the newborns within the next couple of years as well, with the name "Michael" rising in popularity -remember where you heard it first.

Despite what the family had wanted, Michael will not be buried on the premises of Neverland. Instead, there will be a memory ceremony -not unlike a concert- in L.A's Staples Center on Tuesday where, believe it or not, you have to buy a ticket to gain access. I need not point out the obvioys distaste of this as it should be obvious to anyone with half a soul, but what baffles me is that people are going for it. The concert promotors; losing millions and millions on the 50 O2 Arena shows now not taking place, I'm guessing are now seeing their chance to get some of that money after all. That's hardly surprising, as money is what they're about. But the fact that people that are supposedly mourning him will buy the tickets and not realize that they are helping to contribute to making not only his life, but now also his detah, a freak show...really need to sit down and think.

They may argue that they "just want a chance to grieve properly and let go for the sake of closure", but looking at the big picture it is all about their selfishness. They need to go their to grive, they need to have closure, without caring about the fact that they're taking part in something that made the person they claim to miss and respect absolutely msierable. And, most of all, they just want to be able to say that they were there. Ten, twenty, thirty years from now, when the story books have been altered and history re-written in his favour and people have lett heir selective memory alter the life of Michael Jackson and all that is left is people's stories, they want to be able to tell their grandchildren that They Were There. Promoters being what they are, the memorabilia printed for the "This Is It" tourwill now be sold at the memory ceremony. And all of a sudden, those words take on a much more distrurbing, much more litteral and bizarre meaning.

For God's sake, people. Don't go to this freak show thinking you're showing any respect, thinking that you're doing it for the person who's died and who will supposedly be put on lit de parade in a cascet while people pay to go up to it for one last look. Because you're not. You're doing it because you're proving once and for all how the media can manipulate emotion and get entire populations following the masses without questioning. Meanwhile, the papers can sell some more copies. The ceremony at Staples Center is said to be a tribute, in memorial. But why, then, is the view on him and who he was being so filtered already? We're not remembering him as he was, we're remembering him as we WISH he was, and we're being incredibly selective. When he was alive, no one craed about the music and focused all their energy on his surgeries, financial trouble and bizarre life. Now that he's dead, everyone's dfoing a complete turnaround going "oh yeah, he was unhappy but let's focus on the music".

I say, let's not. I say let's have the fucking balls to finally SEE him for who he really was: including his surgeries, including his happiness (and unhappiness) and including everything that made up a person, just like you and me. Acknowledge his accomplishments but acknowledge his pain, too. No one-sided stories; good nor bad. Just see HIM. See Michael. That's all he ever wanted.

The Cinema Of Transgression

So, I finally got my computer ordered the other day and I'm really looking forward to getting it. Most of all I think I'm excited about all the films I'll be able to actually get that don't seem to be available anywhere else, like those of Catherine Breillat and Gaspar Noé for example. They both do films that belong to the "Cinema Of Trangression" genre; where the purpose, I suppose, is to shock. What's shocking, though, is subjective I suppose although I hear they're both violent and sexually expolicit (along the lines of "Baise-Moi", if anyone's seen that one), some of them made with an 8 mm camera and in black and white. In other words; something I might like. The "Cinema Of Transgression" had a manifesto about what they do and who they are as a group of underground film makers, which really really awakens mycuriosity. It reads, as follows:

We who have violated the laws, commands and duties of the avant-garde; i.e. to bore, tranquilize and obfuscate through a fluke process dictated by practical convenience stand guilty as charged. We openly renounce and reject the entrenched academic snobbery which erected a monument to laziness known as structuralism and proceeded to lock out those filmmakers who possessed the vision to see through this charade. We refuse to take their easy approach to cinematic creativity; an approach which ruined the underground of the sixties when the scourge of the film school took over.

All values must be challenged. Nothing is sacred. Everything must be questioned and reassessed in order to free our minds from the faith of tradition.Intellectual growth demands that risks be taken and changes occur in political, sexual and aesthetic alignments no matter who disapproves. We propose to go beyond all limits set or prescribed by taste, morality or any other traditional value system shackling the minds of men. We pass beyond and go over boundaries of millimeters, screens and projectors to a state of expanded cinema. We violate the command and law that we bore audiences to death in rituals of circumlocution and propose to break all the taboos of our age by sinning as much as possible. There will be blood, shame, pain and ecstasy, the likes of which no one has yet imagined. None shall emerge unscathed.

Since there is no afterlife, the only hell is the hell of praying, obeying laws, and debasing yourself before authority figures, the only heaven is the heaven of sin, being rebellious, having fun, fucking, learning new things and breaking as many rules as you can. This act of courage is known as transgression. We propose transformation through transgression - to convert, transfigure and transmute into a higher plane of existence in order to approach freedom in a world full of unknowing slaves".

Need I say I have to check this out? :) They continue to say that "...any film which doesn't shock isn't worth looking at" which is, of course, utter rubbish. Shocking for the sake of shocking is too simple. But still...I'm excited.

Welcome to the freakshow

"We live to hear the slack-jawed gasping
We live under a halo of held breath
And when the children raise up a giant shield of laughter,
It's like they're fending off death".



Probably one of my favourite things on the festival was the freakshow; a combination of 1920's performance art and a couple of the Suicide Girls. Burlesque, fakirs, sword swallowing...you gotta love it. The girls were stunning and if I was a man I'd love them, haha. :p Normality is overrated.

To those about to rock; we salute you.

Metaltown was absolutely lovely; blazing sunshine and a great atmosphere and I can't wait to go back. There really were people of all kinds there; everything from the stereotypical goth girls with their awkward body postures, pale skin, tulle skirts and slashed arms to the rockers with jeans and band tees. I saw so many amazing looking people that I wanted to photograph; complete works of art in themselves.

Seeing Manson was, of course, lovely as always although I can't help but feel that I do wish he'd perform sober -or at least a little less high -occasionally. Just for the hell of it, if nothing else. I realize, the more I think of it, that it was the rest of the band that carried him on Saturday; with Twiggy playing that guitar like his life depended on it. He's lucky to have such quality musicians backing him up like that, and if nothing else I suppose it's nice to see that he is still very much in contact with the audience; bending down, reaching out, and literally getting down on the floor -unlike Dir En Grey whose lead singer spent the entire hour screaming in his microphone with his hair covering his face; not even looking at the audience once. Mustach was fantastic in terms of connecting with the audience as well, Dir En Grey should learn from them.

All in all, it was a great day and seeing Manson on his knees, clinging to the sleeve of Twiggy's shirt so hard the knuckles on his gloved hands were whitening going "Let me show you where it hurts!!" during "Pretty As A Swastika" was orgasmic. I can't wait to go back next year.

The day the music died

I got the news at midnight last night, about an hour after it happened, and I'm still in shock. I just can't believe it and it is still so impossible to fathom. I had just fallen asleep when I was woken up by a text message on my phone. For a brief moment I contemplated ignoring it and reading it in the morning, but then my curiosity got the better of me, and so I read it. Two times, three times, four times. "Michael Jackson died from a heart attack today". No, this has got to be a mistake, there's no way. What do you mean dead, how can he be dead? it's Michael Jackson, he's supposed to be around forever. I got up and turned the TV on and there it was. I remember just staring at the words on the screen, it felt and still does feel so unreal. I catch myself waiting for someone to go "haha, it was just a joke". Because how can it be true? It's too unfair to be true. Music died last night and the world will never be the same. No matter what your opinions on his personality or his music, you'd have to be completely devoid of musicality to not see his greatness as a performer. Because as a performer...he was The One. Sharp, charismatic and energetic and so, so creative.

I realize that the past ten years were lacking in him producing anything worth mentioning and it makes my blood boil already to think about how the media that wanted nothing more than profit printing allt hese rediculous stories, are now saluting him as "the greatest". But I guess that's what happens if you're famous when you die. I wanted so much for Michael to have his pink, fluffy Hollywood ending. After a life like that...he deserved it. But life isn't fair and I think we're being very naive if we try to convince ourselves that it is. All I know is that the world lost one if its greatest sources of creativity last night, and the world of music is forever changed.

If you've never had the pleasure of experiencing a full blown panic attack, fast forward to 2:04, watch, and thank your lucky star.

Alcohol

While I am yet to post what will most likely be a very long post about my views on alcohol vs. other drugs, I have to get this out of my system. I've been thinking quite a bit about this for the past few days and the more I do, the angrier it makes me. The other night I was flipping mindlessly through the channels on that mind-numbing, soul raping device we call the television (that I do admit I use to wind down, on the occasions it doesn't winde me up...haha) and doing so I stopped for a couple of minutes on what is a show called "Paris Hitlon: my new BFF". ("BFF", apparently, stands for "Best friend Forever. What, are we twelve years old now?). Knowing full well it was going to make my blood boil, I watched a little bit out of sheer morbid fascination. And....Jesus Christ. I don't even need to explain what it was like as I'm sure you can all imagine (Spoiled, tacky media whore meets ten other media whores that want a piece of her fifteen minutes) but one of the contestants said something that totally baffled me. They all, of course, had to learn how to "party like Paris" and one of them, Sinsu, got herself fall-over-and-throw-up-in-a-bush drunk. As pathetic as that may be to me, what made it even worse was her comment on it afterwards: "Yeah I like to party, yeah I like to drink, but I drink wine. Wine is classy. It's not like I'm walking around with a big glass of beer or anything".

You fucking idiot.

If something gets you so wasted it renders you helpless and causes you make an idiot out of yourself, what difference does it make what glass it comes in?? This whole idea that some alcohol is supposed to eb "classier" or "better" than others makes my blood boil. It's that kind of thinking that enables thousands of women down their bottles of red wine at night and think they don't have a problem. News flash: drunk people are never classy, no matter what spirits got them that way. To make matters worse, I found thios quote from Ms. Tyra Banks (and I know some of you will love this more than others):

I don't drink, but every now and then I’ll order some wine at the table. I’ll only take two sips, but I’ll keep holding the glass 'cause it makes me feel sexy, but I still don’t drink it because it still tastes kind of nasty to me

Let me get this right. She holds a glass of wine because it makes her feel sexy? Yeah, okay then. For some reason unknown to me, apparently, drinking wine has this allure to it. What exactly is sexy about it? This whole diea that it's classier with a glass of wine than a glass of beer...is bullshit. It's a beverage, it holds no eprsonal qualities. It's exactly that that the people marketing it to you want to feel, you idiots! There's a reason to why most women alcoholics drink wine and not heavy liquor or beer. It's not classy, it's not fun and it's not fucking different!!

Vaken.se

Although a slightly bit too conspiracy-loving for me, it's interesting to see people who actually reflect upon things for once, even if their ideas are stretching things a bit too much (I'm just geenrally sick of Zionist conspiracy theories). The forum is interesting although I can't see myself taking part in a discussion on there any time soon.

Words of the day

"[My idea of perfect happines would be] to lose everything, I guess. Not life, 'cause then there would be no emotion. But lose everything, then you have something to look forward to."

~Twiggy Ramirez~

Rock is dead

Time for some Bill Hicks. Not that I'm in a particularily bitter or angry mood today, but because, well...he's right. *shrugs* I watched this clip today and when he yells "I WANT YOU TO PLAY FROM YOUR FUCKING HEART!!!!!" I started thinking and I realized that there aren't any real rock stars left anymore. That is something I really miss. I completely get what he means with banality and mediocrity ruling the music industry, and it's evident even in rock. The rock stars that used to be were just putting on a show. When they came off stage, the make up came off and that was it. Shock was just business. No one was being true to their art. Today, there isn't a trace of wanting to provoke left in any of them: Dee Snyder is married to a beach blonde and has a pink poodle (yes, for real), Ozzy is long gone physically as well as mentally, Alice Cooper plays golf with the aristocracy every Sunday...what.thefuck. Even musicians (if you can call them that...) that try to be anti all these things just do it to sell, when it coems down to it. A perfect example is Good Charlotte (although I have to laugh at myself at the thought of describing them as "rock" :p), who, when they first got signed, released the single "Lifestyles of the rich and the famous", critisizing celebrity worship and the fact that as long as you have fame and money, you can get away with everything. Now...their lead singer is dating Paris Hilton. It makes me want to fucking tear my hair out. I want you to play from your fucking heart.

"Genitals are like any other body part, only they're surrounded by mystery. But really, they're like your hands. You can shake hands with those you love and with those you hate. It feels different, but you can do it."

~Rachel Flame (Rakel Liekki), pornstar~

Men and women, boys and girls

As some of you may know I'm quite into my photography at the moment. Combining that with trying to look at what's around me usually works, and at the local book store the other day, I came across this:




In my silent mind, I wondered what a smililar book for boys would look like. Conveniently enough, there wasn't one, but I'm wondering if us girls now all of a sudden eat things the opposite sex doesn't? It's a strange world.

My complete photography collection can be seen here:

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=106280&id=763548664&l=0fb38d4bab

Cursed with clarity

I went to my nephew's graduation party yesterday, and I had a good time. Late summer night,a fire and company strikes up a certain mood and I had a good conversation. Add me, my two brothers and a blanket and you have what makes a good evening. We talked quite a bit about the more serious aspects of our lives and ourselves, something I wish we could do more often. Turns out we've all developed a way of keeping things to ourselves as not to worry others. I also talked a bit to one mof my half sisters and found something out about someone close to me that I didn't know before. Although tragic, it changed things. It made me realize, fully, that as much as I'd like to...this is soemthing I cna't stop or change. I'v eknown it logically for a long time but emotionally I've still held on to it, wanting so desperately for things to be okay. But last night I found out it's been going on for so much longer than I could even imagine and the fact that it started when I was so little I can't even remember -even before I was even born- is what finally amde me accept the situation as it is, heart breaking as it may be. I came home at three thirty this morning and I cried. Not because of helplessness or worry as I had before, but because it broke my heart. I cried for her, for the fact that she's suffered so much for so long. It always has and always will break my heart...but I let go now. I have to.

Memories...

Fast forward to 2:50 ;o)

No name

Today is one of those days. You know; one of those where you think about how fucked up the world is and how many people that have fucked you over that you wish you could shoot in the head. Or then again...maybe you don't know. Anyway. Usually this would mean I'd post an appropriate Manson song, but today, no one says it better than Diamanda Gálas. Althought he song is originally about cheating on someone, the anger of it ort of mirrors what I feel for the world today. And all of you who usually go "you know, it takes more energy to frown than it does to smile" or "it was a long time ago, let it go -forgive and forget": spare me your holier-than-thou Dalai Lama attitude. Thanks.

This is for everyone who have ever called me ugly. Fast forward to 0:25 and enjoy.

Antichrist

I absolutely cannot wait for this movie...the reviews from the film festivals are mostly good so far -some people booed when it was shown and I like where that is going. Means it's most likely provocative, at least to some people. After finding out that Lars Von Trier wrote the script for it after a severe clinical depression that left him physically incapable of levaing his bed for three months where he did nothing but stare into the wall...makes me think this is going to be absolutely friggin amazing. Really dark and psychologically haunting, just the way I like it. Having said that though...the trailer sucks:



The only thing that looks slightly promising and provocative is this:



So I'm just going to decide that they were a bit unlucky with making the trailer and that the movie will be nothing like it. Please God.

Found it ;o)

It's shaky as hell (and not filmed by me) but this is what it looked like.

For the memories...

Exactly one year ago I was outside the luxurious Four Seasons George V hotel in Paris, waiting for...Céline. We had met up Fanny and Darryl a few minutes before as Fanny had said that Céline usually leaves around three in the afternoon on the day of a show. There were already loads of fans there (I'm guessing about a hundred people or so) and people were climbing the trees to get a better look. We were repeatedly told that there was to be no crying or screaming, or she would not come out. And about an hour and a half later...it was time. I saw the police gathering around the car she'd be leaving in and her body guard coming out - a clear sign that she was on the way. She stayed for about five minutes (which feels so long when you actually have her in front of you) and people keptcalling out to get her attention as she smiled and signed things. Unfortunately, someone fainted after she left but she was well looked after so I think she was fine in the end. There was a video on YouTube but I can't find it now...will have a look. I've been listening a lot to "Je Ne Vous Oublie Pas" tonight - "I Will Never Forget You". It was a song written for Céline that describes her love for her francophone fans; her very first ones who were there in the beginning of her career and the ones she has today. The lyrics are really beautiful and I'm really nostalgic right now. And yes...close to crying. I get emotional that way. I'm off for a stroll down Memory Lane. :)



"In my absences, maybe
I could have gone away
As if I had got lost on my road
As If I had changed

So I have some tender words
Just to tell you this:

I don't forget you...no, never
You are deep within me
In my life, in everything I do
My first love, my first dreams
came with you
It's our story of our own

I don't forget you...no, never
You know so much about me
Of my life, of what I do of it
So my happiness and my sorrows;
I share them with you
It's our story of our own
I don't forget you

Because time can encage
all our dreams and wills
I take my decisions and travel
And sometimes I pay the price for it
Life smiles at me or wounds me
But whatever my life is...

I don't forget you...no, never
You are deep within me
In my life, in everything I do
My first love, my first dreams
came with you
It's our love story

Even to the other side of the globe
My story continues with you...


I don't forget you
No, never
You know so much about me
Of my life and what I do about it

So my happiness and my sorrows I share them with you
It's our story of our own
I don't forget you
I don't forget...you

Corporate Invasion

I love spending time at worth1000.com and after browsing through a section titled "Corporate Invasion", I came across the pictures below. The thought behind them is obvious and I thought they state a lot about where we're headed.